4 hours to India

Funny how life works, isn't it? After writing about the peace I felt about my visa, it came just a few days later. Which (fast-forward) brings me to the present... 

I leave for the airport in 4 hours to go to India. 

Once again I have that familiar feeling of my toes dangling over the edge, I'm about to jump, but fear sets in. Why is it that we get apprehensive when it's too late to turn back? The knot in your stomach doesn't form before you buy the plane ticket. No, it forms when you have no choice but to over come it. 

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." 

That verse has been a great comfort to me today. Because Christ's strength is infinite, therefore that minimizes all the fears that attempt to immobilize me. Horror stories of other people's bad travel experiences haunt me, but when I think about having the strength of God within me, that seems so trivial.  All I'm doing is getting on a plane and waiting out a few layovers. What is that really in the grand scheme of things? Trivial.

So now, once again, I get ready to jump.  

Best friends with my Backpack.

I decided to mix up my font today. I hope you like it. If not, too bad - I like it. 


Each day I eagerly check my mail, and each day nothing comes. Well, things come - but not what I am waiting for. All is irrelevant when I don't see the package I await from the Indian consulate. I am waiting for a particular important person to put a particular visa in my passport and send it back to me so my adventure can begin. Those who sit beside me in lectures have the unfortunate distraction of watching a chipmunk dance on my computer screen while I browse plane tickets, something I prefer to have on the forefront of my mind while the prof drags on about a novel written before civilization.  It's like I'm cheating on my beloved backpack if I'm not planning something we can do together soon. I don't think other people wanderlust as much as I do; and if they do, they are less blatant about it. If I don't have an upcoming trip I start to get this claustrophobic feeling - as though I am trapped. Trapped and trip-less. The worst! 

So I still don't have a visa to India. (My next destination of choice). I would ideally like to leave Friday. Friday, 6 days from now, Friday. Yes, that Friday. However, despite me losing heart in some senses about my departure date creeping up and me remaining immobilized to hurry the process up, I am overwhelmed by peace. My stress coping tactics are slim to nil, being an overall stressless person is great, until you have to deal with something... and then you have zero practice. I generally like to handle such situations with a little cry and then brief hyperventilation session.  Doesn't solve much. But this time, this time is different. One thing I know for certain, it's not me getting any better at handling stress. Or maybe it is... because instead of trying to handle it on my own, I finally realized I can't. And I let somebody else. Sometimes I feel like a 4 year old... "no mom, I can do it" which is usually followed by the child spilling something all over themselves. However, finally just allowing God to step in is remarkably freeing. (Probably should have figured this out sooner, eh?). So now, no visa - no India. That's okay. Visa- India. Also okay [well, more than okay... freaking awesome!].